Off To 2008

IMG_3114, originally uploaded by setyr.

I would like to open a new chapter of my life by honoring and remembering HB. So much has happened, and so much has changed over the past 3 months. Somewhere deep inside, I desperately want to shout out to the world that I have finally moved on...But the truth is, HB would always be a distant part of every beat of my heart. And as I look ahead, I will remember all the good times, and the lessons I have learned. I will always be grateful for the moments - whether good or bad - for they are what shaped me to who I am now and they were the very reason that I am where I am now.

I admit that I'm still lost, that for most part of my day I still don't know how to move on and on rainy days I still blame myself for losing the two most important people in my life...I probably will never...But nonetheless I move on.

A new friend of mine is helping me do that, whether he knows it or not. T has been there, in the right place and the right time to fill up some void. I still call him my Rebound, but I don't want to think too much about it or him...I don't want to lie to myself and to him, everybeat of my heart knows only one person( or should say, one and a half?)...Sometimes I get scared that I may not fully recover and I sometimes lose the belief and hope in the miracle of love....

I know that I will never be the same. But nothing I can do can bring back these two dearest boys in my life nor would I be able to right the 'mistakes' that I made. So I have decided to embrace myself, to embrace my life, to embrace my flaws, to embrace my lost. But I would like to believe that God has something even greater for me, I would like to believe in the goodness and power of the heart, and that someday, I will meet my two boys again, perhaps in heaven...