Hard Choices

The past few months I've been in a professional limbo - a situation that I've never imagined to be in. I've blogged that I've been seeking new employment for the past few months. And although I've good feedback from the interviewers I couldn't seem to find the right match to get an offer. Honestly, for the first time in my professional life, I have to work doubly hard to get something. I try to be on the optimistic side of things and trust that the Lord will lead me to a better and happier place. At the office, I've finally heard what I've suspected that they want to do to me. Not officially kick me out, but make it almost impossible for me to stay by giving me hard choices - stay but there's a catch, they need to lower my grade level, thus my salary and compensation. I'm curious whether this is legal or not, but putting pride aside, I think that I've done my due diligence and have worked my way up to where I am now. I deserve to be where I am now. The new manager says that it's not fair for the rest of the guys that I receive higher salary but our workload are the same. At this point, I was thinking - is it my fault that I've been deprived of the job appropriate to me? And then there's another catch. Stay, but we need to downgrade your grade level (vis a vis YOUR SALARY!). But if you stay, consider that the downgraded grade level is already the highest possible you or anybody in this team for that matter will actually achieve. Did I hear it right? First I was questioning the legality of the context of our conversation, and now I'm questioning the authenticy of the offer. I however, have already lost all my hopes and dreams and motivation to stay in the first place, so I played along. And then the manager goes 'Don't think that I'm bullying you or wanting you to quit'. D-U-H?! I guess he had to make hard choices for the sake of team balance(read: BUDGET) . By the way, that manager and I currently share the same grade level...

He and (especially) his asst. mgr wants me to stay with lots of buts...But the manager has a disclaimer, that should I decide to pursue another career, in another department or somewhere else, he would fully understand and support. I simply told them to give me two weeks to think about how I wish to proceed. I'll be exiting soon anyway, but because now that they've put it out in the open (for me), I start to feel the time pressure. Yet, like the still waters of Maryland lake, I feel a sense of serenity deep within. Relief that I don't need to put up with so much reasoning to let me go, they've figured it out for me. Obviously my career and my dedication deserves more ...somewhere else but here. I regretted that I've turned down a good offer two years ago, because I didn't want to jeopardize the company. But I've learned so much since then, and because of what I've gone through the past two years, I'm more confident, and yet humbled, that I can now clearly see where I want to go. That was a very hard choice, but it was worth it. And now..it is really time to move on and end this injustice. I remember HB telling me two years ago not to think too much of the company, because we are all indespensible. But I have a conscience and I honor the PMI Code Of Conduct. I intend to keep it that way...But now it is finally time to say HELLO WORLD ! once more. The steps I take from here onwards will certainly change the course of my life. But I know that all will be well. Because I trust that the Lord will lead me.