Need of Therapy

This whole CLOSURE thing is nothing close to SIMPLE. My friend Bekku and I have a theory that the CLOSURE CYCLE really is all about these 4 phases: ANGER - SELF PITY - DENIAL - ACCEPTANCE. It's basic coping mechanism to be angry at someone you felt betrayed. Anger helps you cope up with the initial shock of the breakup. But when the emotional spike dwindles, now come this bitterness and self-pity. Again, it is normal coping mechanism to condole yourself that no matter how painful what happened, unfortunately it happened to you . And then there's denial. Somehow the anger fades away and your mind begins to play tricks on you when it frequents the memory lane. Unfortunately for the grieving you the trip will be filtered to mostly good times. This becomes a dangerous time because some 2nd chances usually sparks here (and as experience tells, there are rarely real 2nd chances). And then slowly your brain will get tired of those return from the past trips, and slowly, like a flower that has reached its full bloom, one by one, the petals will fall away, those strong feelings begin to retreat farther and farther away. And then you wake up one day truly feeling OK with everything (and perhaps you have finally found someone else to invest your emotions on). Cheesy isnt it? But these 2.5 months post-breakup I am drowing myself into what feels like a bottomless pit. Alcohol cannot cure the loneliness, and sleeping pills dont help me get some sleep time. I'm trying to fight it but I am losing my battle against this wave of emotions, against the rush of guilt, and anger and self-pity. I am beating myself up to physical challenges just to get by. But still, the ugly truth is that I am still drowning and no one and nothing feels like it will ever be right again. It is sad, and it doesn't feel like coping...more like slef-destruction of the 33 years that I had become.