Trying To Be Me Again.

'Who says IT are not fashionable? Very cute!' , says our President when I saw him at the office today.

'You changed your style, very cute!', my boss commented while we were having a meeting.

'New hair, new style, what's up?', our marketing partner greeted me this morning.

'Nice new hairdo, very cute!', says Keiji.

'You look so different, I cannot recognize you from behind. But it looks really good on you!', praises from Sachimi.

***

I liked fashion before I met T. But when I met him, I started to listen to what he like me to be and started to not care so much of how I look because I wanted to spend my time worrying about making him dinner, cleaning the house, pleasing him. I forgot to be me. And so now he's gone, I am so lost, because I forgot who I am. 3 months have passed, I still lead a double life. During the daytime when I am the usual me, changed in so many ways, more fashionable, more sociable. During the nighttime when tears still wouldn't stop mourning for the loss of a loved one. Leading this kind of life is so difficult but with positive praises, I probably am going in the right direction. Gosh, I still cry stupid me. And the biggest accessory problem with my fashion remake is my eyes. They still look very sad. When I was young, my teachers would always comment that I have a very sad eyes. They never lie do they. Someday I hope to look at myself in the mirror and see a pair of happy eyes looking back at me.