At about 7am I sent out an appreciation mail to the volunteer organizers of the previous night's events <something I learned from John E!>. TM was obviously awake too, he immediately responded and say sorry but he still didn't know why I was angry the previous night.
It took me 1 1/2 hours & some advices from the book I've recently read - Why Men Don't Have A Clue & Women Need More Shoes to decide whether I'd answer the question or leave everything in silence. Somewhere inside me doesn't want to end this way so I eventually and painfully composed carefully-selected words to respond to the email detailing why in the most precise ways (of course leaving out a few details that involved the jealousy part).
I didn't realize that reading this book would be very timely and will come very handy in dealing with the situation. He hasn't responded since then and I honestly don't know if we will get passed this. I'd like to look on the bright side though- I threatened him that Saturday was the end of it, he said I got it and verified that it involved never contacting each other again, which I replied yes to. Then there was an email exchange the morning after, so maybe.....just maybe.
All's been said and done. And given the chance to redo over again, would I have said the exact same things? I've been asking myself that since yesterday. Strangely the answer is yes. Yes, I don't regret telling him my frustrations. My only regret is waiting for it to accumulate and explode. I saw the earlier signs and I should have said things earlier.
I guess this is how it really is...We go thru ups and downs with a person to test whether we can withstand life's roller coaster ride and to test that in spite of the ugly realities that sometimes come our way, we emerge together.
It will be such a waste if this will be end to a beautiful beginning.
It took me 1 1/2 hours & some advices from the book I've recently read - Why Men Don't Have A Clue & Women Need More Shoes to decide whether I'd answer the question or leave everything in silence. Somewhere inside me doesn't want to end this way so I eventually and painfully composed carefully-selected words to respond to the email detailing why in the most precise ways (of course leaving out a few details that involved the jealousy part).
I didn't realize that reading this book would be very timely and will come very handy in dealing with the situation. He hasn't responded since then and I honestly don't know if we will get passed this. I'd like to look on the bright side though- I threatened him that Saturday was the end of it, he said I got it and verified that it involved never contacting each other again, which I replied yes to. Then there was an email exchange the morning after, so maybe.....just maybe.
All's been said and done. And given the chance to redo over again, would I have said the exact same things? I've been asking myself that since yesterday. Strangely the answer is yes. Yes, I don't regret telling him my frustrations. My only regret is waiting for it to accumulate and explode. I saw the earlier signs and I should have said things earlier.
I guess this is how it really is...We go thru ups and downs with a person to test whether we can withstand life's roller coaster ride and to test that in spite of the ugly realities that sometimes come our way, we emerge together.
It will be such a waste if this will be end to a beautiful beginning.
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